3 Steps To A Happy Relationship

I’ve spent a great deal of time working with couples who are having a hard time communicating within their relationship. One of the first questions I ask them is “Was it always hard to talk to each other”? The answer is almost always no. But over time, the inability to connect through verbal communication has faded. It is interesting to note, that I see this more in couples who are younger than 40. I believe this to be true because this demographic grew up with a mobile device attached to their hips and hands, and never really had to rely on basic interpersonal skills. And there are 3 areas that commonly cause problems for us as we try to communicate.

The first problem area is courtesy. Courtesy and basic politeness are in many cases are non-existent in my younger couples. While this can be true at any age, the art of courtesy is lacking with the 40 and younger crowd (please know that I am not making a generalization. I just see it more with these couples).

I have written about this extensively. When engaged in mindful conversation with our partner, we don’t answer text, emails or take calls. I know I am guilty of this from time to time. But both my wife and I are very good at communicating our needs when having these conversations. Just the other night as we were driving down to the water, I started to talk about our upcoming financial responsibilities. In a matter of seconds, she asked if we could please not talk about that now. That the point of going to the water was to enjoy the sunset and wildlife. In a matter of seconds, that conversation stopped, and we were able to enjoy our evening talking about more meaningful things.

By showing her respect and honoring her wishes, we were able to connect to each other and source. She stated her request. She wasn’t rude about it. I didn’t take offense to it. We had a lovely evening. Politeness paved the way.

The second area that brings couples do my door is their fighting. When two or more are gathered together, there will eventually be misunderstanding and conflict. However, if you “fight fair”, it can be a door that leads to greater intimacy. Let me try and simplify this. See the above section on courtesy and politeness. It is so important that when a difficult conversation starts, be fully present and invest in the process.

I have had couples when in the middle of a heated discussion take calls, turn of the TV set and any other thing they could do to avoid intimacy. Because that what this really boils down to. Being vulnerable and resistant to change. There are many tools out there that can help facilitate an argument. It would be helpful to research some, and have them readily available (and agreed upon) prior to a fight. It is much better to be proactive than reactive in these situations.

The last thing I want to mention is the “I’m sorry” area. So many of us have outgrown an apology. We either don’t say it. Or, we don’t mean it. You know the old saying that the best apology is changed behavior. But even before we get to that point, it starts from those words rolling off of our lips. I am sorry. And know that not every apology is an admission to guilt. You can be sorry that someone is hurting. You can be sorry that someone misunderstood what you said. The important this is say it. Give clarifications. Make adjustments. Be open. Be vulnerable and move on. It’s quite the simple process.

If you follow these 3 steps, you should be well on your way to a greater level of communication and intimacy in your relationship. When you’re polite, you will usually be met with kindness in return. If you have tools that are agreeable to the both of you prior to a heated discussion, you probably decreased the intensity by at least a third. And it’s okay to say I’m sorry and be vulnerable. If we remain closed off, the best we can expect is a relationship of little progress and superficial communication. And if you’re still reading this. I’m guessing you want more from your relationship.

Step By Step Guide To Stop Feeling Insecure In Relationships

In order to learn how to reduce insecurity, you must first begin to understand your self esteem. Self belief, begins early in life. Low self esteem is the product of your upbringing and life experiences and manifests in loss of trust, self worth and self confidence.

Feelings of insecurity are learnt along our journey when you (incorrectly) learn through negative experiences to connect negative events to being rejected.

For instance, as a child, you learn to feel insecure if you are brought up with caregivers engaging in inconsistent parenting. This happens when your parents’ or guardians’ disciplines in an inconsistent manner. This inconsistency results from parenting being mood dependent, rather than consistently being based on particular rules, norms or expectations.

At school this inconsistency is highlighted on a regular basis amongst friendships. Children are going through so many hormonal and emotional changes at school, that emotional reactions and hurt feelings occur daily, if not weekly. If you were taught to perceive these changes as simply emotional and not personal, your self esteem would stay in tact. However, often children internalise these daily rejections to mean they are not liked or unwanted. Even after children make-up (which also happens daily), they can be left with the scars of potential rejection. Children then learn early how to ‘walk on eggshells’ to avoid being rejected again.

Examples of how self doubt can manifest are as follows:

– A close friend gets angry any time you have to say “no” to doing something with her, regardless of your reason
– Your partner yells at you every time he is overtired or stressed out
– A mother in your mothers group argues against every opinion you have about parenting
– Someone close to you ignores you when you are in a group
– Your x-partner cheats on you, so you become paranoid every partner will cheat on you in the future

Reducing self doubt and worry with significant people in your life

The above points highlight negative behaviours that can lead to the development of fear of rejection. Each of these examples highlights other people’s behaviours, which were internalised incorrectly as self-blame. However, this internalisation was incorrect. The examples above would best have been internalised as external responses resulting from the other person’s personal issues. Let’s quickly dissect each example:

A close friend gets angry
This is a reflection of your friend’s issues and has nothing to do with your behaviour. You have a right to say “no” when you are busy too

Your partner yells at you
His/her moods are dictating his reactions towards you. His moods are the issue, not your behaviours

A mother in your mothers group argues against you
This is a reflection of the mother either feeling intimidated by your opinions, or insecure about your role within the group. You have a right to have a different opinion to hers

Your close friend ignores you in a group
This is either an oversight, or the other person is overcompensating for their own insecurities, or jealousy, by focussing on those who may need more work to become close friends or family

Your x-partner cheats on you
This is a reflection of your x-partner and has no bearing on you. Regardless of anything occurring within the relationship, cheating is only the fault of the person engaging in the behaviour

The Top 5 Answers To Reduce Anxiety With Your Partner

1. Rebuilding your self esteem to ensure you have the strength to cope when things go wrong and to be resilient to negative experiences

2. Questioning honestly whether someone’s behaviour is a reflection of their issues (not yours)

3. Trusting in yourself and in your instincts

4. Being open and honest with those you care about to express how you’re feeling and question inappropriate behaviour

5. Living in the world of facts, not perception. So you only act on your concerns when you are 100% confident your judgement is accurate (e.g. ask if necessary before you act).

The most important thing is to believe that insecurity is not a healthy emotion and leads to negative and destructive behaviours. It’s not your fault that you feel this way, but as an adult you have the choice of either continuing to feed this, or challenging it and overcoming in. In doing the latter you will enrich your relationships, enhance your career and live a much more healthy, happy and successful life.

Dell XPS 27 Guide – A Must-Have All-In-One With Amazing Audio Setup & Stunning Display

The new Dell XPS 27 all-in-one features a vivid 4K display and crisp-sounding speakers. This colossal 27-inch display is also available as a touchscreen version. With an articulating stand, it can actually lay flat on its back. If you don’t want to use it as a giant tablet, you can save money by ordering the non-touch version, in which case you’ll still get a wireless keyboard and mouse. The keyboard comes with dedicated media control buttons and a number pad.

If music and audio are important to you, you’ll be glad to know that the new XPS 27 AiO is built with ten speakers, including four full-range drivers and two tweeters lined under the screen. There are two passive radiators for enhanced bass and two downward-firing speakers.

This is actually the first PC in the world with two independent, down-firing speakers offering full-range capabilities. The tweeters produce crystal clear voices and clean high notes with accurate stereo imaging. The volume is exceptionally loud – even when turned down to just 10%, it can still be heard from across the room.

What kind of specs does this machine come with?

• 6th generation Intel core i7 processor (6700)

• 16GB memory (2133MHz DDR4)

• 2TB SATA hard drive 6GBs

• 27-inch 4K ultra-HD display (non-touch and touch both available)

• AMD R9 video card 4GB (M470X GDDR5)

• Operating system: Windows 10 Home (64-bit)

• Camera: 720p webcam featuring Infrared with face recognition and quad-array digital microphones

Despite all of these components, the unit still manages a relatively slim bezel.

Dell XPS 27 Weight and IPS Technology

The non-touch model weighs 28.7-lbs and the touchscreen model weighs 38.2-lbs due to the latter’s more complex stand.

The IPS technology allows you to view images on the display from any angle in the room, and delivers the same vibrant color consistency (up to 350-nit). The color is incomparable; the Dell XPS 27 covers a wide color gamut and is capable of producing shades of color outside of all conventional panels. Images, colors and video appear amazingly lifelike with over 1 billion colors.

With 4-DIMM slots, you can add additional memory (up to 32GB) to easily toggle between applications and manage larger files efficiently. You can also expand storage, thanks to two hard drive bays and an SSD drive bay.

Thanks to the discrete graphics and i7 processor, this AiO performs well in graphics-based benchmarks. Even though it’s not advertised as being a gaming PC, it can still be used as one for the casual gamer who isn’t too picky. Dell XPS 27 reviews are primarily praising the sound and speaker system along with the crisp display and expandability options.

Finding Dell deals is easy, as the company frequently gives out discounts on its merchandise. Don’t let the price of this all-in-one be a deciding factor – all you need is a Dell XPS 27 discount code, and you can get it at an affordable price.

(Ruby 2.5.1) Windows Fix – “Cannot Load Such File – Sqlite3/Sqlite3_native (LoadError)”

If you use Windows, you must appreciate that there are several gems which require external libraries in order to be “built” properly.

These external libraries are generally not present on your system and are required to be installed (and referenced) to get them working. This is why the likes of the MYSQL2 and RMagick gems are seen as “difficult” to install.

If you’re using SQLite3, things are slightly different.

This gem has several “builds” which are meant to provide functionality across a number of platforms (Windows included). Whilst this works in earlier versions of Ruby, it doesn’t work for Ruby 2.5.1+ – hence the error you’re seeing…

cannot load such file — sqlite3/sqlite3_native (LoadError)

The error is caused by the installation & attempted usage of the “mingw32” version of the gem. This version of the gem is pre-compiled with the SQLite core files, but has issues when being used with the later versions of Ruby.

The solution is to install the gem for the “ruby” platform (which still works fine in Windows):

gem install sqlite3 –platform=ruby

This will install the “native” version of the gem with all the appropriate files etc – but won’t use any of the platform-specific functionality that comes with the likes of the mingw32 version.

This will work 100% out of the box.

However, there’s another problem. If you use “bundler”, it will often override the native gem installation in favour of a platform-specific one. This means that if you run bundle update / bundle install, it will likely install the sqlite3 gem with mingw32 platform.

In this instance, you need to uninstall *any* references to the latter by using “gem uninstall”. Here’s what typically happens (for us):

bundle update [installs sqlite3]
gem uninstall sqlite3 [shows selection]
remove “mingw32” variant
rails s [should work 100%]

This will get the system working with the gem.

The big problem is that whenever you use the “mingw32” version of the gem, it will have a set of references/calls which are designed specifically to call particular elements of the gem.

In Ruby 2.5.1+ – for whatever reason – these calls are not entirely used to ensure that the system is able to make the most progress, hence the error you’re seeing. To fix this, you need to be able to essentially “force” your system to only use the “ruby” variant of the gem.

Online Training & Certification Courses for Analytics

‘Analytics’ is probably the new word being used when discussing hot topics in business. Data or business analytics is all about the collection, processing, analysis and interpretation of data in order to derive insights. Data is collected from various sources and is processed in specified ways. Various questions are developed on the information and answers are found. The data analyst position offers a handsome salary and requires a skilled candidate who can work with the increasingly complex data.

THE EVER INCREASING SCOPE OF ANALYTICS

There is an ever increasing amount of raw information. Almost every field we examine incorporates huge quantities of data with which the companies need to work. Everything from retail shops to hospitals, schools, hotels, small scale factories to big production houses, educational institutes, sports and entertainment incorporates a huge quantity of unprocessed information which needs to be processed and interpreted in order to arrive at a meaningful result. An upward trajectory has been seen in recorded number of jobs available for the job profile of data scientist. Candidates for data scientist positions need to have deep knowledge of how to deal with raw facts and figures and should be either certified or trained by a well-known, reputable institute. Knowledge of appropriate analytic tools and software are not enough. Candidates should choose a particular sector or field and should have deep knowledge of analytics associated with their chosen sector.

THE REVOLUTION BROUGHT BY E-CLASSES

With the advent of computers and the internet there is nothing to hinder a student from learning. The best application the internet ever had is in the education system. There are thousands of online courses which are reaching individuals in far off places. E-classes have brought about a real revolution in the educational field. Online courses and training programs from well-known companies have increased the number of students dramatically. There are many pros to online certification courses such as you determining what time of day you take the class. You can be comfortable in your home learning what you want.

The best thing about online certification courses and training is that there is a highly trained faculty. You can actually choose whose lectures you wish to attend online. There are more than a thousand students enrolled for such e-courses and training, so special emphasis and effort is made to provide the best faculty. There are a certain number of lectures covering all what you need to know. These e-learning and training programs have fees which are comparatively much lower than that charged by ordinary schools and universities for offline classes.

With the ever increasing scope of analytics, there are many e-learning sites which are popping up almost every day to educate and train today’s youth to do the jobs in this field. Many of them have attractive offers to get students to enroll such as deep discounts, extra classes, free trials, free papers, etc. They provide certification which is more than sufficient to fetch a decent job in this field.